When it comes to planning your estate, Warren Buffett has a piece of advice for all parents, regardless of their financial situation: let your children read your will before you finalize it. Whether you’re leaving behind modest savings or vast wealth, open communication with your family about your estate plans can save everyone a lot of confusion and potential heartache.
Why Buffett Recommends Sharing Your Will Early
The billionaire investor, often referred to as the “Oracle of Omaha,” recently shared this advice in a letter. Buffett, who has a $150 billion fortune and three children, believes transparency is key when planning how your assets will be distributed after you pass.
“Be sure each child understands both the logic for your decisions and the responsibilities they will encounter upon your death,” Buffett wrote.
He emphasizes that discussing your decisions with your children ensures they’re not left asking “Why?” about your choices after you’re gone. He also encourages parents to carefully consider their children’s feedback, adopting suggestions that make sense.
The Risks of Keeping Estate Plans a Secret
Buffett’s advice stems from his observations over the years. He’s seen families torn apart due to misunderstandings or perceived injustices in how assets were divided. When beneficiaries are left in the dark, unresolved childhood tensions or imagined slights can resurface, leading to jealousy, anger, and fractured relationships.
By sharing your plans early, you provide clarity and give your children time to understand your decisions. If one child receives more than another, or if a trust is involved, they’ll know why—and they’ll hear it from you directly, which is far more meaningful than discovering it after the fact.
The Importance of Tough Conversations
Discussing a will is often uncomfortable, but experts agree it’s necessary. Certified Financial Planner Douglas Boneparth believes these “tough conversations” are worth it because they strengthen family bonds when handled correctly.
“You want your children to have realistic expectations about their inheritance,” Boneparth says. Without this clarity, children’s imaginations may run wild, leading them to assume they’re entitled to more than they’ll actually receive.
Clear communication also helps prevent resentment, especially when an inheritance isn’t divided equally. If one child received financial help earlier in life—perhaps with a down payment on a home or a more expensive college education—explaining how those decisions factor into the distribution can ease potential tension.
What If Your Kids Disagree?
Parents often worry about upsetting their children or hearing complaints about perceived unfairness. However, that’s precisely why discussing the will beforehand is crucial. It’s better to address those concerns now than leave your children to argue over it later.
Buffett himself faced questions from his father when planning his estate and doesn’t shy away from defending his decisions. “There is nothing wrong with my having to defend my thoughts,” he wrote, adding that the process helped him better understand his own reasoning.
How to Approach Unequal Inheritances
Unequal inheritances can be a sensitive subject. However, there are ways to handle these situations thoughtfully.
For example:
- Recognizing individual needs: If one child is financially stable and another struggles, you might ask the wealthier child if they’re comfortable with the less stable sibling receiving more support. This approach fosters understanding and ensures no one feels slighted.
- Setting up trusts: For children with spending problems or other financial challenges, consider creating a trust. This allows them to receive their inheritance in installments, helping to ensure financial stability over time.
Certified Financial Planner Carolyn McClanahan also suggests involving your children in discussions about what’s important to them. “When you’re creating your estate document, ask your children in advance what they value most,” she says. “That way, you can keep their priorities in mind while making your decisions.”
While Buffett’s advice is sound for most families, there are exceptions. In cases where a child has exploited a parent financially, or where learning about a large inheritance might harm their motivation, experts recommend keeping certain details private.
In these situations, a letter explaining the estate decisions—left for the child to read after the parent’s passing—may be a better option. This approach ensures transparency without creating unnecessary conflict or enabling poor behavior.
“Every family is different,” McClanahan notes. “That’s why there should be no set rule.”
Strengthening Family Bonds Through Transparency
Discussing your estate plans can be a powerful tool for strengthening family relationships. These conversations allow you to:
- Clarify Your Intentions: Your children will understand the reasoning behind your decisions, reducing the likelihood of misunderstandings later.
- Resolve Potential Conflicts: Addressing concerns in advance ensures fewer surprises after your passing, which can often lead to disputes.
- Promote Fairness: Open dialogue gives you a chance to explain your perspective, allowing your children to see the bigger picture.
How to Start the Conversation
Talking about your will may feel intimidating, but taking the following steps can make the process smoother:
- Choose the Right Time: Plan the discussion for a calm, unhurried moment, such as a family gathering or a quiet weekend. Avoid starting the conversation during stressful times.
- Be Honest and Open: Share your reasoning and be prepared to answer questions. Encouraging honest feedback will help foster understanding.
- Bring in a Professional: If necessary, involve a financial planner or estate attorney to mediate the conversation and provide expert advice.
Why This Matters—Even for Modest Estates
Buffett’s advice isn’t just for billionaires or millionaires. Even modest estates benefit from clarity and communication. A well-thought-out estate plan and open conversations can prevent unnecessary conflict and ensure that your family honors your wishes after you’re gone.
The Bottom Line
Warren Buffett’s advice to let your children read your will before you sign it is about more than just financial planning—it’s about fostering trust, understanding, and stronger family relationships. By explaining your decisions and listening to your children’s concerns, you can create a legacy of transparency and love.
Whether your estate is modest or substantial, one thing is clear: open communication is the key to ensuring your final wishes are respected and that your family remains united after your passing.
Make these conversations a priority, and take comfort in knowing that you’ve done everything possible to prepare your family for the future.
